It’s so easy to say, “Think positive!” or “put on a happy face!”, or even “Look on the bright side!” But how do we actually do that in times of need? Of doubt? Of hardship and pain? Like any skill worth having, it takes practice and persistence. Have you ever thought about what your inner voice sounds like? Is it a positive or negative voice, and how do you even know?
Start with this - when you make a mistake, what are the thoughts that go through your head? Does it sound like “Ugh, I’m an idiot! How could I possibly have let something this simple slip by me, AGAIN???” Or, does it sound like, “Oh, I wish I caught that. It’ll be ok, now what can I do to rectify this situation?” One is clearly positive and productive, and the other negative and destructive. Trust me, I know these are both just mild versions of what our inner dialogue can sound like sometimes. The thing is, the second self-response takes practice and intention, whether you realize it or not.
There are a few really proactive ways we can practice positive mindsets and responses to ourselves and our circumstances. I find the best way you can get started is to actively tell yourself positive things each morning. These are usually called Positive Affirmations, but whatever you want to call them, they are effective. How many of you know the things we tell ourselves become our reality? So if you are constantly telling yourself that you are not good enough, that you’ll never get anywhere in life, and nobody will love you, you’ll have a much better chance of those things being true, than not. And that is no way to live a thriving life!
Let’s do this instead - Come up with a list of at least 10 things to tell yourself every single day, so you can start believing the good about you instead of the bad!. They should consist of a mix of: 1) things you already value about yourself and can actively appreciate, 2) things you want in your life, for example, the income you want to earn, or the relationship you’d like to have, and 3) things you don’t currently believe about yourself but you want to be true. For your reference I’ve created a sample list for you, always to be said to yourself in first person. You can use these, or create your own:
I am kind
I am beautiful
I am smart
I am valuable
I have a thriving career
I am a client magnet
I am lovable
I am worth it
I have more than I need
I am successful
The first thing you do with these are write them down. You need a hard copy here. Writing them down, with pen and paper, makes them tangible, realistic, and permanent. Then, you take that copy of your very own personal affirmations and say them to yourself, while looking in the mirror, every morning. This may sound absolutely silly, but I can tell you for a fact, I think, act, and look at myself differently when I am doing this versus when I am not. Major moment of honesty here - I haven’t been doing this lately, and it’s time to start again. Today.
After you get used to saying kind things to yourself about yourself, it’s time to implement them further. This is where it can be easy to slack off, but now that you are now paying attention to that inner voice, it’s time to teach it. You need to clap back after that normal inner voice pops off at you. Stay with me here - the next time you think, “I’m so stupid,” you stop yourself in your tracks and force yourself to follow it up with, “No, I am smart!” The next time you look at yourself and think, “I’m fat,” you stop and replace it with, “I’m beautiful.” The next time you think, “I’ll never have enough,” you replace it with, “I am successful and have more than enough!” THIS IS THE KEY: You do these things whether or not you believe them right now in this moment. You are teaching yourself to believe them, give it time.
Slowly but surely you will start to interrupt your own thoughts to replace them with TRUTH. You’ll begin to stop those negative thoughts before they start and replace them with your new mindset, and your new truth. You have taken your mind captive from the old destructive thought patterns you used to give in to so much you didn’t know there was any other way. You will thrive and shine and radiate a new confidence that no one knew was there before - the quiet, humble kind that doesn’t need to be loud and flashy because it is just who you are now. Because you are worthy of it, you are beautiful, and you can do it. You are someone with a renewed mind and a positive mindset and when you have that, only the sky is the limit.
Love & Lashes,
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